:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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