Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
