After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
