He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
