11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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