Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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