The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
