Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
