she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
