Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize