she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
