We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
