He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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