the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
