Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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