Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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