Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
