Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
This couple is walking their pig around campus
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
