Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
