Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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