I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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