Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i wish my penis had a tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I need to align my fucking chakras
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize