p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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