a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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