sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
