apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Randomize
