Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
why do cheetos always look like penises
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
