She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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