Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize