possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
