Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
