Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
