shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
