We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My bed smells like the plague
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
