How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Randomize
