i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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