operation harelip BJ is a go
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
