So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
