What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
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She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
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His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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