I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
