I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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