Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize