oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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