called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
