u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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