Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
