im six kinds of drunk right now
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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