Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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