spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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