i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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