OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
