I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
