it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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