Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
