i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
