she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize