I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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