too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
