im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
