I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize