i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
