if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
