Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
