I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
How does one acquire holy water?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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