The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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