i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
